(I was about 38 weeks in these pictures. Can’t believe my belly and uterus really stretched that big!) I have included the picture of a blossoming tree because the similarity of a blossoming tree and a blossoming baby to be born. Blossoms take their own time and cannot be rushed- some blossom early and and some later. Waiting for the blossom can be a period of growth. This is my journal entry about the waiting period, written the day before Hugh was born.
“November 11, 2014
Every night before I go to bed, I think ‘maybe tomorrow will be the day I get to see the baby!’ I try really hard not to wallow in despair or impatience. I call to Ethan to come hug me & he comes, asking why I need a hug. I tell him how I feel. He climbs into bed to cuddle with me. He says, ‘I love you. Your body is perfect. Our baby just wants you all to himself, he doesn’t want to come out and have to be held by random people.’ He nuzzles my head and rubs my belly.
Yesterday, we got two packages in the mail. They were gifts for our baby. I want to cuddle with all of the blankets, they are so thick and cozy. I’m really grateful we have blankets for baby. I want to make sure baby stays super warm and cozy all through winter. It’s amazing to me how many gifts we have gotten to help us take care of baby. I love rubbing my belly & feeling and guessing where your arms and feet and back are. Our baby is so loved. Everybody is looking forward to meeting you.
I think part of this process of birth is recognizing how instrumental faith is. I have to respond with faith instead of fear. I have to have faith while waiting, yearning. I have to have faith in my body, my baby, in our partnership. It’s very easy to get anxious and frantic, but that really doesn’t help. The only thing that helps is taking a break- breathing, praying, and moving forward.
Hugh B. Brown made a comment once that said something along the lines of: “when we involve, we evolve. When we involve ourselves in the activities of the Lord, we evolve into beings like the Lord.” As I involve myself in the lives of others- serving them, helping nurture goodness, I can evolve. I really think that now is the time to evolve. I am grateful for this opportunity- this prime time. I know it will be difficult. I may feel like I have given my all, only to to be asked to give more. I have to have faith.
Ethan and I have been reading scriptures together. It talked about a political leader who asked the prophet to inquire of the Lord what they should do in war- what should be their stratagem. Once I read this, I had the thought that I shouldn’t feel silly for praying that my cervix to soften and dilate. To give me comfort when I start labor and during this whole process. To give me strength to wait.”